Hypocrisy, Hollywood be thy name.

So, a lot of Hollywood types have latched on to the whole Bloomberg “Demand A Plan” scam. Mayor Bloomberg already has some of the most onerous gun laws in the nation yet it doesn’t stop criminals from killing lots of people. Maybe the Mayor should spend more time wondering why people use the subway for murder in his fair city but I digress. Chicago’s laws are tougher where gun owners have had to sue to own or carry a gun, yet homicides exceeded 500 this year.

Who are these Hollywood folk who see fit to use their celebrity to try to convince us they know something we don’t? Let’s take a look.

Jamie Foxx

Maybe he’s looking for publicity for his new film but Jamie Foxx is right at the top of the list. The very same Jamie Foxx toting a gun on a blood spattered poster for Django Unchained *the new Quentin Tarrantino film he’s starring in. It promotes those important morals, “Life, liberty and the pursuit of vengeance.” In 2007 he starred as a blackmailing gun-wielding FBI agent in *The Kingdom.

Jason Bateman

The guy who brought his career back from life support on the cult hit Arrested Development. They were happy to feature a dopey security guard running around shooting mice with a gun in the episode “Not Without My Daughter”. It’s also damn funny to teach the nerdy character a lesson at the business end of a loaded shotgun carried by a probation officer in “Making A Stand“.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Another *Arrested Development *star, see above.

Carey Mulligan

Young new star who last year starred in that placid film Drive where an all-around bad ass Ryan Gosling has to protect her from her estranged convict husband’s friends with just a car. Well, of course, it wasn’t just a car it was pistols, shotguns and the beautiful scene where Ryan just kicks the ever loving crap out of a guy in an elevator.


Come now Beyoncé, did you really think we would forget “Thug Love”? Let me remind you:

A thug is what I want
* And a thug is what I need*
* And my friends don’t understand*
* How my baby laces me*
* A thug is what I want*
* And a thug is what I need*
* And my friends don’t understand*
* And I think its jealousy*

I know, her thug must not use a gun.

Jeremy Renner

I’m amazed Mr. Renner has the gall to open his mouth on this topic at all. Let’s run down his IMDB hit parade shall we?

  • Hawkeye in *The Avengers *(I guess shooting people with bows and arrows is okay)
  • The Bourne Legacy
  • Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol
  • The Town
  • The Hurt Locker
  • The Assassination of Jesse James…
  • 28 Weeks Later
  • S.W.A.T.

It appears to me Mr. Renner has little interest in a role unless he’s using a gun or other weapon to mow down a bunch of people in it.

Amy Poehler

Seems most of the cast on Arrested Development took time to put down their guns and join in this “PSA”.

Jessica Alba

Double duty packing heat for Robert Rodriguez in Sin City *and *Machete *not to mention her big break starring in one of my faves, Dark Angelwhere she was a gun-toting wunderkind. She even brandished one of those evil “machine guns” with a “high capacity clip”, an HK MP5. She’s going back for more as well, the *Machete sequel is in post-production and she’s filming the Sin City sequel. Lock and load Jes!

Rashida Jones

No ear protection, check. Person in close proximity also with no ear protection, check. Closed eyes, check. Proper elevation, check. Well done Rashida!
Rashida got her hunt on for some great laughs on Parks and Recreation when the whole gang hit the woods and Rashida was happy to mishandle and break various safety precautions with a Remington shotgun. But hey, it was just in good fun wasn’t it?

Aziz Ansari

Yep, Aziz was in that episode of Parks and Recreation as well, he had a Mossberg shotgun to greet visitors at his cabin door.

John Legend

As if his lyrics weren’t criminal enough he was happy to hook up with Talib Kewli for a little ditty called “Around My Way”, take a sample:

No place like home when the cops ask you about your neighbors
Beat on you, threaten to incarcerate you
Till you spill your guts like you a Garcia Vega
We roll blunts not the papers
Cop the greatest take it coast to coast
L.A. to Chicago like Smooth Operators
Cop the Dro and cop the blacks
Cop the four, cock it back
Drop the flow, rock a hat on top a stocking cap

Roll the blunts and cock one back John, priceless.

Nick Offerman

Another Parks and Recreation cast member who apparently can’t remember what he puts to film. His character has a claymore (not the sword, the explosive device) and a sawed off shotty on his desk. For fun and games he likes to wield a revolver around the office with his finger on the trigger.

John Slattery

John Slattery, OB Magnum.
Now we come to two points of disappointment for me for I am a huge Mad Men *fan. I thought John was clean until I checked out an appearance he made on *30 Rock. Um…yeah.

Jon Hamm

It should be no surprise that he who portrays Don Draper is the cleanest of the lot. Yes, he wielded some guns in The Town but nothing that glorified them as he was “the law”. He’s also carried portraying a soldier in We Were Soldiers (a personal favorite) as well as Mad Men.

Selena Gomez

Does dating Biebs count?

Jennifer Aniston

Badly handled a revolver on 30 Rock and a shotgun in The Bounty Hunter. No, I didn’t even know about that movie until I started working on this.

Conan O’Brien

Another disappointment but like Jon Hamm he’s also clean.

Chris Rock

I saved the best for last because when I saw him come up in this I could not believe my eyes. Chris Rock? Really Chris? Are you kidding me? If you know Chris Rock you know why, for the rest of you perhaps you have heard of one of Chris’ most famous routines known as, and I quote, “Black People vs Niggas”. Check it out on You Tube if you haven’t already.

So, after exploring some issues concerning propagators of the thug life shall we say, Chris drops some knowledge with the line, “What, you think I’ve got three guns in my house ’cause the media is outside?” So, apparently Chris thinks we need to do something about the guns “as a human being” but I guess he’ll be keeping his three?

There were more folks in this video but the point has been made – Hollywood doesn’t just live in hypocrisy, it takes hypocrisy to the bank. When someone like Jeremy Renner, who would be flipping burgers if it wasn’t for the “gun culture” propagated by his films, has the gall to tell me I need to demand a plan from politicians things have gone far enough alright.

These folks are the ones putting the guns in your living room every day goofing with them and killing lots of bad guys with them. After all, guns are funny as hell right? Meanwhile mine and those of respectable gun owners are locked, secured and out of sight.

Whether it’s comedy or action there’s really no difference though because the money is made one way or the other and guns are things of amazement instead of dangerous tools to them. Do we need to look for ways to prevent Newtown from happening again? Absolutely. However, we don’t need lectures from those who earn their living glorifying guns to tell us what they are.